Mrs Michelle Bachelete:
My name is Javiera Muñoz, a third year English Pedagogy student. I am writting you let you know about my concern about crime which is affecting considerably to the people in our society.
The problem that very worries me is that we can not be just us, just relaxed and comfortable in streets or even inside of our houses. We need to be always aware of what could happen or if somebody is trying to steal something to you. I do not think it is the way i want to live my life either the way i want the people who i love to do so.
I think you need to improve your laws and enforce them. They are useless if not followed. Therefore there wont be any positive change. I know this is a big challenge wich contains economy and educational issues, but if not do it now, never will be done. So this is the time finally somebody do something for our country.
Sincerely,
Javiera Muñoz
16.937.741-3
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ReplyDeleteHello Javiera.
ReplyDeleteI would like to give you feedback on your post, as my "correction" blog entry.
Javiera, be careful with verbs and the way you are supposed to use them. I mean, phrasal verbs, collocations, and so on.
Look at this:
"I am writting you let you know..." It should be "to let you know".
"Steal something to you" it should be "to steal something from someone".
I can notice you pay attention to punctuation, but double check. There are some missing periods or commas. I would also suggest you to use more formal English, as you write "i want to live..."
Overall I think you are using a little bit of "spanglish". Try to look up the usage of words and verbs in the dictionary, so your writing will improve a lot.
Take care!